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Are You A Real Powerboater?
Boaters Self Test
Boaters Self Test
Item#: boatseltes

Product Description
Are You A Real Powerboater? Dateline: 2/16/04

You know you are a real Power Boater when you've changed the oil on your boat engine four times this year and never on your car.

You know you are a real Power Boater when your wife can't understand why you put everything away on your boat and nothing away in the house.

You know you are a real Power Boater if the picture of your boat that's on your desk in your office is an 8x10 and the one of your wife and kids is 4x5.

You know you are a real Power Boater when the president of Texaco has your picture on his desk.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you've traded up so often that your boat payment exceeds your mortgage payment.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you'd rather look at the pictures in Boating Magazine than in Playboy.

You know you are a real Power Boater when all the local marine mechanics smile when they hear your name.

You know you are a real Power Boater when your bait bills exceed your grocery bills.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you've said, "My church is the open sea and salty air early on a Sunday morning , surrounded by all of God's creations, with the warmth of God's sun on my back" so often that you're beginning to believe it.

You know you are a real Power Boater when, on Sunday Morning, the reality is you are surrounded by four fishing buddies and you are fighting off the warmth of God's sun with cases of cold Budweiser.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you refer to people who own sailboats as "blowboaters."

You know you are a real Power Boater when most of the Christmas cards you get are from people in the Marine Industry.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you will pay someone to mow your lawn so that you can have time to wash your boat.

You know you are a real Power Boater when all of your Christmas presents come from the Marine Store.

You know you are a real Power Boater when all of your wife's Christmas presents come from the Marine Store.

You know you are a real Power Boater when all of your kid's Christmas presents come from the Marine Store.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you start calling your boat an "investment" to justify the cost.

You know you are a real Power Boater when, on the day after you've just bought a bigger boat, you start reading ads for a bigger one.

You know you are a real Power Boater when the boys on the fuel dock cheer when they see you coming.

You know you are a real Power Boater when the most pressing social issue on your calendar is the boat parade.

You know you are a real Power Boater when your only political contribution of the year was to "Citizens for the elimination of no-wake zones."

You know you are a real Power Boater when you learn to enjoy watching sailboats flop around in your five foot wake.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you think nothing of burning 25 gallons of fuel to get to a restaurant that's ten minutes away by car.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you can jump out of bed at five in the morning on Saturdays and Sundays but need to be dragged out of bed the rest of the week.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you spend more time cleaning up the boat after you've used it than you actually did using it.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you see absolutely no correlation between you asking people to remove their shoes before going below and your wife asking you to remove your shoes before coming in the house.

You know you are a real Power Boater when your engine is spotless and your garage a mess.

You know you are a real Power Boater when all of your dock lines match.

You know you are a real Power Boater if you spend more than one day at the boat show.

You know you are a real Power Boater if you actually read the brochures you brought home from the boat show.

You know you are a real Power Boater you are very uncomfortable at a social gathering of non-boaters.

You know you are a real Power Boater if you believe that a man who doesn't own a boat is probably a little effeminate or has some other personality defect.

You know you are a real Power Boater if you don't talk to anyone for two days after you miss your slip on the first try.

You know you are a real Power Boater if you got the boat in the divorce settlement - but she got everything else.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you've got more money tied up in rods and reels than you have in the kid's college fund.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you've ever had to say, "Don't make me choose between you and the boat."

You know you are a real Power Boater when you get a little "stimulation" at the sound of your engines starting up.

You know you are a real Power Boater when hooking a big fish at 2 PM is your idea of an "afternoon delight."

You know you are a real Power Boater when you buy your wife perfume called Diesel Exhaust #2.

You know you are a real Power Boater when it's your turn to watch the kids so you take them fishing - in spite of their Doctor's appointments.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you name your boat The Other Woman and you get no objection from your wife.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you spend more on boat soap than you do on clothes.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you think that Manatees ought to learn to stay out of the ICW.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you go offshore is six to eights and wonder why no one else is out.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you can pronounce Rybovich and Bahia Mar correctly.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you judge a man's character not by his moral behavior or social convictions but by his ability to dock a boat.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you remember how many years you've owned the boat but forget how old your kids are.

You know you are a real Power Boater when somebody mentions "bible" you think of Chapman's.

You know you are a real Power Boater when your favorite channel on T.V. is the Weather Channel.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you go fishing on Superbowl Sunday.

You know you are a real Power Boater when all of your kid's shirts have a picture of your boat on them.

You know you are a real Power Boater when the only picture of you that you can find also has a fish in it and was taken on the boat.

You know you are a real Power Boater when one of the bar stools at the marina restaurant has your name tag on it.

You know you are a real Power Boater when your idea of Pro-life is to release your fish.

You know you are a real Power Boater when you know when your fishing license expires but have no idea when your driver's license expires.



Guest authored by Capt. Les Hall of Boatingsafety.com, contributor to Boating Magazine, Trailer Boats, Yachting Magazine, and others.